Another Reason Cosmopolitan Can Lick My Twat

[rockettqween]

Oh yeah, in yet another brilliant piece of journalism, Cosmopolitan came out with the 5 things you should never say to your boyfriend. Among them:

"My stomach hurts." - You're not supposed to say this because guys hate to think of you groaning on the toilet. I'm sorry kids. If you can't deal with the fact that I shit, get constipated, have occasional diarhhea, and fart just like you do, you don't get to be my boyfriend. Next!

"How many guys you've slept with" - Now, I've actually had someone leave me a note telling me what a horrible person I was for me in the morning when I got drunk, confessed my number and babbled some more before passing out. He couldn't handle it. (Of course, he was practically virginal when we got together, 19 and still living with his very religious parents. I met him at a Rocky Horror convention. You would have thought he'd be a little less conservative.) For some reason people freak out about this one a lot. To the point that I really have to have someone's trust before I tell them. Men and women freak out. Women are some of the worst. (Backwards thinking seeing as some of them identified as either feminists or sex workers or both.) But when I'm interested in commiting to someone, I can't hide anything and feel good about it. Therefore, they get my laundry list. Once again, if you can't handle it, you can't be my boyfriend. NEXT!!!!

There were some others - three to be exact but I can't remember them.

Comments

[allah-sulu.livejournal.com]

"How many guys you've slept with"

That cuts both ways, and guys and girls need to get a grip and realize that people had a life before you met them. I've seen some pretty jealous people; once, a guy I barely even knew decided that he hated my guts just because I had once slept with the girl he was now dating. Insecure much?

[tyler1968.livejournal.com]

I know that my wife had only been with one guy before me (she was young). Do I wish it had been me? Sure, but I don't care at all that it wasn't. That poor idiot is dead, now (heroin). But, if it hadn't been for him, we never would have met.

Yes, it is a long story. I guess I should FO (friends only) post it.

Re:

[rockettqween.livejournal.com]

I once just snapped at a guy because he was griping about my history, "You know, I wouldn't be able to do half the things I do to you in bed if I hadn't had someone to practice on!!!!" That shut him up. Didn't last long anyway.

I may be a realist but I'd be really surprised if my partner hadn't been around the block to some extent before me seeing as my partners aren't exactly teenagers. Plus I feel like I'm a better girlfriend to my partner because I've made and learned from a lot of selfish mistakes with past relationships.

I've also had the same situation happen that you described where someone's new girlfriend decided she hated me because I'd slept with him years previous to them ever meeting. I certainly don't expect anyone to "save" themselves for me.

Let's get real.

[allah-sulu.livejournal.com]

Contrary to all popular perceptions, I'm much more mature, sensitive, and so on from past disastrous relationships. I'd rather be with someone similarly "broken in".

Re:

[rockettqween.livejournal.com]

Precisely. Good to know I'm not the only one.

I never buy Cosmo either but....

[tinrow.livejournal.com]

I too bought this issue. My friend is the Missouri bachelor. I've never been more proud. I just couldn't bring myself to actually read the magazine though.

Re: I never buy Cosmo either but....

[rockettqween.livejournal.com]

Oh cool. I'll have to pick up the dreaded thing and check out your friend. I don't recommend reading anything past makeup articles if you don't want to melt your brain.

Re: I never buy Cosmo either but....

[tinrow.livejournal.com]

Gotcha. He's the one from Missouri.