Oct. 15th, 2002

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The other day, I got a hankering for a bit of caffeine so my workout partner and myself darkened the door of my favorite corporate coffee house. As my WP avoids coffee like the plague (seems a coffee allergy runs in the family), he ordered one of those trendy corporate coffee house creamy cold non-coffee drinks. However, we realized on the way out that they'd put coffee in it. So, being as I now had a mission to suddenly be of service to that glorious man of mine I said...

"I'll go back and bitch at them. I don't want you to get sick."

Why I wanted to do this, I don't know. Any excuse to bitch right?

They were very nice about the whole thing especially when I explained the whole coffee allergy and I now have a free beverage coupon sitting in my purse for future corporate coffee house runs. HOWEVER.....

I was walking out into the parking lot of said corporate coffee house proudly carrying the correct beverage, minding the traffic of Loehman Plaza on the fine fine Eastside. (Factoria to be exact) I looked both ways. A car pulled up and stopped for me to pass. Or so I thought. As I walked forward obviously backlit by the myriad of lights illuminating the lot, the car I was walking in front of began to move forward, slowly at first yet picking up speed. I just narrowly missed becoming a hood ornament due to reflex.

I whipped around full of adrenaline and rage. A plain housewifey woman sat behind the wheel, eyes big, hands covering face with a stupid "oops" expression. I couldn't help it. I had to kick her fucking car. I don't like people trying to run me over. Maybe that makes me less of a person or something.

She was shocked and enraged by my car-kicking action. For a second I thought she was going to get out of her car and come after me. I had to assess wether or not I could take her. Then I realized she was one of those who would rather call the police than fight so I headed to the car where my workout partner sat, patiently awaiting a coconut creme frappuccino. But not without a confrontation.

Shocked Stupid Woman (SSW): WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR???

She wanted to argue the point further but I figured if I hung around any longer. My rage would take over and things would get ugly. Fuming I turned and quickly walked to the car.

RQ: "Some fucking bitch just tried to run me over."
WP: "Ah... that was it. I thought I heard yelling, but I didn't hear any swearing so I didn't think it was you."

I love that man.
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Does it make me less of a person to not want to rot in jail for what I believe in?
rockettqween: (Default)

:: how jedi are you? ::

When I was younger, unknowledgable about the mechanics of sexual desire, I used to get a "warm tickling feeling" when Han Solo was on the screen.

I still do but now I know it's cause I want to bone him.
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Well, the current things bothering me are current world events. This must mean I'm feeling better because when I'm in the throws of depression the rest of the world can go to hell. I won't post my opinion here though. I'm too paranoid to get political these days. Plus I've got my own agendas that left or right, you're not gonna agree with.


It gets lonely being libertarian.
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Since the space heater I've concluded a direct correlation between being cold and my low sex drive.

I'm cold = no sex.

I'm nice and warm = "Would you care to pull my hair while you fuck me from behind?" or some like sentiment.

Space heaters rule.

I'm feeling compelled to do some real writing very soon. Of the sort one wouldn't post on LJ.

Sleep deprivation seems to be sparking off my creativity.
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She gets too hungry for dinner at eight
She likes the theater and never comes late
She never bothers with people she'd hate
That's why the lady is a tramp
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Skip this entry if you're easily offended....

Okay, now that I have your attention.

An old Jewish man, tired of money woes decides to play the lottery. He and his wife think long and hard about which numbers to pick. They finally settle on their choices and the man goes to buy a ticket.

Bright and early the next morning, the man rises to grab the morning paper. He checks the numbers and sure enough, there are the numbers. Right there. "Honey!!" He says, "we just won 30 million dollars!"

They decide to buy a new house with lots of acreage, new cars, vacations, and decide to throw a party and invite everyone they've ever known.

The day of the party arrives. The party guests notice a large item covered by a sheet. Curious, they start asking questions about what's under the sheet but they are all told to wait for the unveiling.

Finally the moment arrives. The man gathers all in the backyard, cuts the rope and rips off the sheet to reveal a 40 foot statue of Hitler.

There is shocked silence followed by the man's relatives angrily asking what the deal is. The man rolls up his sleeve to reveal a tattoo:

"Where do you think I got the numbers?"
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Which Spuffy kiss are you?

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I had to steal this from [livejournal.com profile] tinrow's LJ. Ex-catholic girls like myself tend to have a fondness for drunken priests.

tinrow Time: 4:12 pm.

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So, next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on his door:

1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
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What's your brand of sexy?

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Hedonistic Bum.....

Gee. That's about right.
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So, almost everyone on my friends list with the exception of a small few either didn't post today or they posted quizes/jokes. What does it all mean?

Even I find myself in the post quizzes and jokes and nothing particularly deep mode.

Sweet. It was nice out today. I was able to get iced corporate coffee today.

We lost one of our cats. I'm sorry I ever bitched about having so many animals around. We went to the humane society to report her missing but they're closed on Tuesdays. We'll have to try tomorrow. This was the "misplaced" kitty. The one that originally belonged to one of our roommate's fuck toys that moved to Billings, MT. Couldn't keep the cat. Left it at our house. I liked the outsider kitty. Strangely enough, even though I keep my distance from pets and all things cute, I find myself grieving over the fact that we haven't seen this squeaky little thing in days. I want her back.
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I just found an lj community for las vegas junkies!!!

Whoo hoo!!!

[Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]
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