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rockettqween-I'm glad to have a place to crash at in Seattle so I'm not alone in Renton right now. It's very weird not sleeping with WP. I hope he's having fun out in the wilderness. It's been good to have the space today but realizing I'm not sleeping with him tonight is kind of bumming me out. I think I've gotten used to the warm body of someone I am particularly attached to being just in reach. Even if he's sleeping, an arm to stroke. A warm back to curl up next to.
-Been thinking a lot about the past. Mostly because I would like to free myself of it's burden an move on. I'm slowly beginning to realize that contrary to what the majority of people I knew before 1998 were saying, I deserve to have a good life. It takes a while to unlearn conditioning.
-The ex-husband is coming to town very soon. The one that broke my heart into a million tiny little pieces over and over and over again and then decided to divorce me over the phone long distance from Denver. He's coming to see our son which he very much needs to do. Unfortunately he also has somewhat of an agenda where I'm concerned. (He claims to have made a terrible mistake in divorcing me.) Thankfully he's been a good father when he's been around despite the fact that it's not really his kid. Much preferable to the parasitic junkie sperm donor.
-My relationship with my workout partner is feeling more solid despite the fact that I still harbor unresolved feelings for the ex. Luckily we've been able to talk and communicate about it. He's remarkable realistic about human nature and after an initial growl, hasn't taken it personally. Having found someone who is supportive of me being who I am and hasn't tried to change me, who seems interested in my happiness doesn't lead me to believe the grass is greener in Colorado. One door closes to open another.
-WP has granted permission to do whatever I feel I need to do to try to resolve issues with the ex even if I felt it included having sex with him. I've done a bit of thinking on the subject and I'm inclined to feel that if I were to have sex outside of the relationship it would be best to do so with someone who respected my relationship with WP. I doubt the ex would fill this role.
-For an independent person like me, the longer a leash you provide me, the more likely I am to stick close to home and appreciate what I've got.
-I've often dreamed of having a partner that would let me do whatever my heart desired. I wonder if I've actually found one. I'm taking things very slow as far as testing the waters of proffered freedom. I feel that's wise. Luckily I'm more secure in things to believe that I have all the time in the world to pursue my flights of fancy.
Hmmmm.....
I'm going to fuck the shit out of my workout partner when he gets home after a long lengthy make out session.
-Been thinking a lot about the past. Mostly because I would like to free myself of it's burden an move on. I'm slowly beginning to realize that contrary to what the majority of people I knew before 1998 were saying, I deserve to have a good life. It takes a while to unlearn conditioning.
-The ex-husband is coming to town very soon. The one that broke my heart into a million tiny little pieces over and over and over again and then decided to divorce me over the phone long distance from Denver. He's coming to see our son which he very much needs to do. Unfortunately he also has somewhat of an agenda where I'm concerned. (He claims to have made a terrible mistake in divorcing me.) Thankfully he's been a good father when he's been around despite the fact that it's not really his kid. Much preferable to the parasitic junkie sperm donor.
-My relationship with my workout partner is feeling more solid despite the fact that I still harbor unresolved feelings for the ex. Luckily we've been able to talk and communicate about it. He's remarkable realistic about human nature and after an initial growl, hasn't taken it personally. Having found someone who is supportive of me being who I am and hasn't tried to change me, who seems interested in my happiness doesn't lead me to believe the grass is greener in Colorado. One door closes to open another.
-WP has granted permission to do whatever I feel I need to do to try to resolve issues with the ex even if I felt it included having sex with him. I've done a bit of thinking on the subject and I'm inclined to feel that if I were to have sex outside of the relationship it would be best to do so with someone who respected my relationship with WP. I doubt the ex would fill this role.
-For an independent person like me, the longer a leash you provide me, the more likely I am to stick close to home and appreciate what I've got.
-I've often dreamed of having a partner that would let me do whatever my heart desired. I wonder if I've actually found one. I'm taking things very slow as far as testing the waters of proffered freedom. I feel that's wise. Luckily I'm more secure in things to believe that I have all the time in the world to pursue my flights of fancy.
Hmmmm.....
I'm going to fuck the shit out of my workout partner when he gets home after a long lengthy make out session.
