My Twelve-Step Rant Part I

[rockettqween]

Just got back from one of those cult meetings. This one was in a little building on the Eastside. Smoking was permitted which made the drone of the same old stuff different day easier to bear. I feel like my skull has been peeled back and its contents have been messed with. I often feel this way after said function. I'm tired. If there was anything else that worked, I would do it. Probably. I guess I'd have to stipulate what that was. I guess going to a meeting is better than shoveling elephant shit. I feel a little fucked because it seems that in order for me to get on with my life in a manner conducive to life, the universe and everything else, I have to deal with certain snakes in my head that make me want to fuck up everything good. Okay, well hmmm.... Having been around people completely unsupportive of any recovery program (i.e. the prissy goth boy I shacked up with for three months) I figured it was kind of unimportant. I was heavily involved in cult activities. I secretaried, treasured, worked in a fellowship hall, worked steps, and started to sponsor. Hmmm... I'm just not sure about all this. I'm really scattered right now. It was suggested a long time ago that I keep a journal. Now that I am, I find there is so much I could write about but just... Okay I'm going to jump around for a bit. New topic.