So, I've gone from sharp stinging joint pain in my hands to sharp stinging pain in the solar plexus. Milk of Magnesia is doing nothing. I just ate two chocolate bars. Perhaps that was not wise in lieu of current stabbing pain in solar plexus. Oh well. In lieu of awful pms symptoms it was warranted.
Couldn't leave the house today. Slept til 5ish. Called my mother which was ill-advised and ended up screaming, "I hate you!" into the phone and hanging up. This is a continuation of my anger building towards everyone who ever hurt me in any way, my parents included. If you can call them parents.
New rule of thumb: do not deal with mother 7-10 days before estimated arrival of menses.
Am thinking that so called gluten-free baking mix is behind stomach troubles. It does contain rice flour and I am technically allergic to rice as well as everything else but in certain forms it doesn't bother me much. At any rate will not be buying that mix again. The cookies kind of sucked anyway.
Crawled out to Mercury after midnight. It was good to get out even though there were not many people out.
I'm wondering once again if the impossible happened and there's a sex industry job in Seattle somewhere that doesn't suck. Probably just wishful thinking. And greed talking. You just never get over the time that it didn't suck and you could bail yourself out of any financial scrape with just a few hours of work.
Ex-husband called to leave new number on voicemail. Estimated arrival is sometime in the next 10-12 days. I'm dreading it like dental work. Except at least when you have dental work, they give you these nifty pain killers afterwards so you can stay in all weekend, rent bad movies, and eat pudding.
Oh yeah, never watch Naked Lunch on Percoset.
I started reading Black Spring by Henry Miller. It's delightful. Nice to hear from a man that knows the value of a good piss and bad food under just the right circumstances. The frightening thing is that the stream of conciousness writing follows many thought patterns I have had in the past on many of the same subjects. Very interesting.
And on another note, News Propaganda can suck my twat.
I care. That's why I'm not participating in it. I feel it's better for humanity if fewer of us stayed glued to the TV getting our instructions on what to believe and when to be afraid.
I discovered a year ago that the only way to watch news propaganda is with a sex pistols soundtrack played loud enough to make the windows shake.
Sometimes I hate the world. But I do have my own destiny to create. Just like everyone else.