Aug. 24th, 2002

rockettqween: (Default)
We're supposed to be out camping now but poor planning and no clean clothes or a cleaned out car or the right food has caused us to sit and wait for laundry to cook and probably leave when we get up. Suck. At least we're still going.

I've been little miss PTSD lately. I'm sure it's charming.

My eyes hurt.

My family of origin pisses me off.

I don't think I've cried this much since I was two feet tall.

I guess this is called the "healing process".

Finally settling down and saying, "okay, I'm not taking any more crap from anybody" leads one to have all sorts of memories pop up. About all the crap you have taken. Ouch. Perhaps relapsing on my fourth step made things a bit more difficult.

Sex is Violence. Okay I'm listening to Jane's Addiction.

DISCLAIMER: if you are on my friends list I'm probably not referring to you in the following rant.....

I took an online goth quiz it basically called me a poser goth. I never really said I was goth, I just like the clothes and the music and being comically morose. Whee..... I blend in better in the goth community than any other though. So that's where I stay. It's kind of neat to stick out in the community of outcasts. I'm afraid sea-goth and "the boards" conversations bore me to tears and sometimes make me want to vomit though. Aren't goths supposed to be artistic loners or something? They're not supposed to have discussion boards and coffee gatherings and camping trips!!!!! Snarf. Just venting. I just get a little peeved when people assume that just because I wear black eyeliner and hang out at the Mercury that I'm "On the Boards". If you're hitting on me, any mention of "on the boards" will automatically assign you to the NO SEX PENALTY BOX.

So I'm not really goth. What does being goth really mean anyway? It seems to vary depending on the city you go to. Since when did it mean a bunch of insufferable people in black t-shirs having trivia night? I swear, goths in Seattle don't even dress the part, really. Whatever happened to crushed velvet and corsets and leather and lace and shit. I see a few around. Whatever happened to black lipstick? What happened to aesthetics? Aren't goths supposed to be "tragically beautiful"? Why are so many "girl goths" in Seattle overweight wearing a black tent and no makeup? Geez. Put on a corset or something. Take pride in your "gothness" or quit being so damned pseudo-elitist. And would some of you men-goths or whatever you call yourselves bathe more often and wash the same pair of black jeans you've been wearing for the last 3 weeks? Just cause it's black and doesn't show dirt does not mean it does not stink.

I used to hang out in the U-District with pot-smokin' hippies. The ones traveling in packs were pretty uninteresting. Girls in floral print tents. Men with unwashed ripped jeans and green t-shirts. Except for the color scheme and the fact that they didn't really have enough money for "coffee night" so they had to smoke ganja in the park, what is the difference between these two fucking groups?

This is not to diss (yes, I used the word diss) those goths that do uphold traditional tortured artistry or the hippies truly in love with dirt. I just find myself increasingly annoyed with the new generation of goth hanging out at the Merc.

I started going to goth clubs because for one, I liked the music and for two, the meatmarket game was not present. Indeed, I hung out at the Vogue semi-regularly for 2 years before anyone really started talking to me. It was great. Get dolled up, look fabulous, dance all night and be left alone.

It seemed people took a little more care with the way they looked too. I don't care if the economy's bad in Seattle, I'm flat broke but I know quite a few tricks to maximizing your materials and looking good. For starters, bathing.

I don't know why I'm going on a shallow trip right now, but I... just.... AGGGGHHHHHHRRRRRGGGGHHHHH.

There is more to life that Peter Murphy and VNV nation kids!

Am I the only one who thinks Peter Murphy should just be put out to pasture? Retired? Give 'em an engraving on the wall and burn all your copies of "Cuts You Up". (While you're at it, break that "Facination Street" single.)

Elitist granola goths. How boring.

Can we have a bring back black lipstick fundraiser?

Oh wait, real goths don't have fundraisers. I forgot. I'm just a poser. That's why my lipstick's red.

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rockettqween

October 2002

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