Aug. 12th, 2002

rockettqween: (Default)
The Thompson Twins make me cry sometimes. Should probably change the music. There. Billy Joel is better.

And now a word from my ego:

I sometimes feel like Cameron Diaz in 'There's Something About Mary.' (If you haven't seen it, it's basically about this chick that everybody falls for, young, old, etc.)

Yet another admirer revealed himself to me tonight. (No not that way.) Many interesting types have pursued me. I can't possibly appease them all. Besides which, they're not all cool. Some of them I've explored possibilities with. Some of them are very cool in a "I'd like to get to know you but sleeping with you is not on my agenda kind of way." Some of them respect that and become friends. Some say, "Yeah, sure. I respect that," but will lurk for years waiting for the opportunity that never comes and then they decide I'm a bitch because I never put out. Others fall somewhere in the middle.

I guess I should be flattered. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed. Sometimes I just don't believe it and figure they respond in kind to any girl that gives them the time of day.

But okay, I'm not just any girl. I'm the Rocket Queen.

I am also a total attention whore sometimes. Inherent flaw or good way to meet new people?

My neck hurts like hell. Finances are falling into ruin. Can't afford the chiropractor. Also received news from annual exam. "Abnormal Cell Growth" must do more tests to rule out potential cervical cancer. Geez. Just got through the breast episode and now more prodding is to be done. Perhaps I'll get another speculum out of it. But you can't really plan speculum theft. Or maybe you can. I never got caught stealing technicolor latex gloves. (Providence Hospital has PURPLE ones. Very Cool. Different sizes.)

I once shared about latex glove theft in a 12-step meeting. There was someone in attendance who had a crush on me. He went to the hospital for a check-up and got caught trying to steal pastel blue ones. He apparently made up some weird story about his girlfriend's glove fetish and it being her birthday or something and the nurse gave him an assortment. He dumped them in my lap at the next meeting I was at. He also asked me if I wanted to date him and if I did, he wouldn't marry some girl in the northend. I said no. He married her. Dipshit. You probably don't want to marry your fiance if you're willing to trade in on a date with a girl you've had 5 minutes of conversation with.

He was one of the "not so cool" ones.

It does not support my ego when ass weasels hit on me. I really don't feel I'm special if I'm a part of the desperation numbers game.

However, there are times when my ego is a well-oiled, overinflated machine.

Other times, I just don't see it.

Karaoke with the damned was fun. Random gay man gave me $10 while I was singing "Call Me" by Blondie. The only money I've made in the last 3 months has been people tipping me when I sing in Karaoke bars. Maybe the universe is telling me to attempt the supposedly impossible: sing professionally.

Not like I have anything to lose at the moment by looking for some people to sing with. Unemployment has it's advantages. Namely countless hours to fill in a day.

May look into school again as well. If I can get it paid for through some program I can further put off my increasingly most dreaded task: looking for work. I could always major in undecided again.

My broke ass self is currently accepting dinner invites. (hint hint)

That's about currently all I have to say.

Confidential to [ profile] caterpillergirl: I just figured out who you are. I'd love to shoot pool with you sometime you beautiful thing. Hope to run into you soon at the club or something.


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